The old woman was paranoid. When they would pass a flatbed truck carrying goods protected by a tarp, she'd tell her daughter, "There's poison under there. Radioactive poison. They don't want you to know what it is."
Taxes were part of the conspiracy. "Why do they make us pay these taxes? It's not their money, it's our money. Who do they think we are their personal bankers skablanker money not theirs gabearus not fair to us badonkus worked for it and we should get to keepitkabeepit. I don't want to pay for all this stuff and it makes me mad doesn't it make you mad?"
"No, I'm not mad, because my money is going to pay for the national parks and I like the national parks."
"What?!"
"My money is all going to the national parks and that's where I want it to go."
"It doesn't work that way! They take your money and they use it the way they want to."
"Not mine they don't. Mine all goes to the national parks."
"You can't say where it goes. They take the money and do what they want with it."
"Not mine. I say mine goes where I want it to go."
"But you can't do that!"
"Yes, I can, and I'm happy doing it. You're the one who's sitting there having the heart attack, not me."
Was your dad as paranoid as your mother?
"Daddy worried all the time. He worried about us when we rode our bikes in the street. He worried when we climbed trees that we would fall out. He worried about things that logically might happen. But he didn't think the tree was going to suck us into its innards."
It's all part of their plan. The trees inhale the children, and then they fall on the house.
"That's how mother would have seen it--'That damned tree didn't fall on the house, it snuck over and jumped on it.'"
Taxes were part of the conspiracy. "Why do they make us pay these taxes? It's not their money, it's our money. Who do they think we are their personal bankers skablanker money not theirs gabearus not fair to us badonkus worked for it and we should get to keepitkabeepit. I don't want to pay for all this stuff and it makes me mad doesn't it make you mad?"
"No, I'm not mad, because my money is going to pay for the national parks and I like the national parks."
"What?!"
"My money is all going to the national parks and that's where I want it to go."
"It doesn't work that way! They take your money and they use it the way they want to."
"Not mine they don't. Mine all goes to the national parks."
"You can't say where it goes. They take the money and do what they want with it."
"Not mine. I say mine goes where I want it to go."
"But you can't do that!"
"Yes, I can, and I'm happy doing it. You're the one who's sitting there having the heart attack, not me."
Was your dad as paranoid as your mother?
"Daddy worried all the time. He worried about us when we rode our bikes in the street. He worried when we climbed trees that we would fall out. He worried about things that logically might happen. But he didn't think the tree was going to suck us into its innards."
It's all part of their plan. The trees inhale the children, and then they fall on the house.
"That's how mother would have seen it--'That damned tree didn't fall on the house, it snuck over and jumped on it.'"
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